The way we build friendships (though we may not realize it)

In talking through my ideas in my previous post about criteria for Good Friends, a friend and I were talking about what it looks like when two people are mismatched in terms of either capacity, interest, and availability. Friendships are different from the donor-fundraiser relationship in a fundamental way: in friendships, both parties have something…More

In-between thoughts: my philosophy love is weirding people out

Thoughts between sets at the gym. Well, guess who has two thumbs had a physical therapy appointment to check up on her herniated disc and heard the phrase “you might have to get comfortable with doing these exercises daily for the rest of your life, and also don’t bend over at the waist, like, ever…More

My new favorite snack: air-fryer dehydrated pineapple

Are you ready for the easiest, tastiest, most tropical recipe ever?! It’s amazing. And so simple I shouldn’t even call it a recipe. But I will. Because this is my website and I make the rules. Here it is: cut up a pineapple. Throw it in the air fryer at 135 degrees for 7.5 hours.…More

How looking for donors changed how I look for friends

I’ve been thinking about friendships lately. (I think this is one of my perennial wonderings, it turns out. Friendships are weird.) I had a couple hard situations where I felt really let down, and I started to question what I was looking for in friendships and why I was investing in friendships that were ultimately…More

Emotions: intuitions that something, somewhere, is important

Intuitions are awesome; as a very intuitive person, I find intuitions to be incredibly exciting but also infuriating. Infuriating because while I get intuitions all the time, I can’t fully rely on them. Before I can follow an intuition, I need to understand what’s going on underneath it, to examine the basis of it, to…More

In-between thoughts: brain break

Thoughts between sets at the gym, from Friday, July 2. Today I went to the gym with absolutely no idea of what I was going to do. I just knew I needed a good, sweaty, fun gym sesh. Plus, I knew I needed to be good to my back; I didn’t want to do legs…More

Having the DTR with my books

The things around us help make up our daily lives. They shape it, color it, contain it, enable it. And this is why it can get weird to start to have complicated relationships with our things. I mostly experience this with books. I’m a perpetual minimizer — I will donate or throw away anything that…More

Why I stopped donating to Compassion, International

Last month I stopped donating to Compassion, International. For a little preamble, I work for a nonprofit. I feel passionately about the value of nonprofit organizations, about the work nonprofit folks do for their communities and the world, and I am committed to making a good career out of nonprofit work as long as I…More

Review: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

I haven’t really reviewed a book in a while! I figured it was time. And of course I am choosing a book that is so widely beloved right now that I feel a little like I’m raining on the parade by criticizing it. But I feel strongly enough about my experience with the novel that…More

Habits, anxiety, existential crises (overly dramatic? never)

I’m reading slowly through James Clear’s Atomic Habits. Side note (I know, I know, I’ve not really even written enough to justify this as a “side” note, but whatevs): I’ve written about this before, which means I’ve been practicing this whole “reading slowly” thing and I’m delighted to say that it’s becoming more habitual (coincidental,…More