In-between thoughts: ear infections and the Thanos Trolley Problem

Random thoughts in between sets at the gym.

1. I finally wrote up my Indigenous People’s Land Acknowledgement and I am really happy to have that ready to go the next time I host a work gathering or event on Zoom. I’ll share in a different post, because of course I have thoughts about it.

2. I recently had an incredibly revelatory and, well, therapeutic session with my therapist, wherein I felt like either she would speak just ahead of me or I would speak just ahead of her. I felt like we were in sync, like someone really saw me for the first time in a while. Sometimes I think the point of therapy is to have someone remind us of the things we already know, but in such as way as to give us permission and confidence to believe and/or do those things. I am so lucky I found her at my lowest point here in Hawai’i.

3. I have a freaking ear infection. What am I, 4?! Between my twingey knee, my herniated back, and my bacteria-filled ear I am a bit of a mess. BUT I BENCH PRESS 115 FOR REPS so maybe the bacteria is giving me chesticle power? *grumble*

4. I have been fortunate enough to read several fabulous books lately. A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr. and Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang. I forget how healing and soothing wonderful literature can be, even when the themes are dark or heavy.

5. My friend and her husband came up with a Marvel version of the Trolley Problem and I love it too much. INFINITY WAR SPOILERS AHEAD. Say Thanos is about to snap his fingers and wipe out 50% of all living creatures in the universe, via random selection. He gives you a choice: either you let him snap his fingers and the random mix of good and bad people are wiped out, 50% of all creatures. Or, he says, he’ll snap his fingers but the only people who die are those you choose. And you have to choose some. So overall fewer people would die, but you would be the agent of their demise. Which would you choose?! I would choose the second option. Fewer people would die and I would only be getting rid of the people I knew were evil or making the world far worse on balance. THANOS INCLUDED OH SHIT DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND. I could just get rid of Thanos with his snap, but… There are definitely some evil assholes out there who deserve to be snapped. Not naming names. You know who you are.

6. Last night I made one of our favorite dishes and I realized it would be great in tacos, but needed teriyaki sauce. We didn’t have any teriyaki sauce, so I quickly whipped some up. It was super simple, but it was deeply satisfying to be able to throw that together on the fly. I felt kitchen-competent and the sauce turned out to be a delicious twist on a standard fave. Tummy = happy.

7. I would say that YAY today is the end of Dry January but… I abandoned dryness a week into that part of my sleep experiment. When I cut out alcohol, I somehow got worse sleep. Go figure. So I have been letting myself have a little wine at night when I want it and that freedom has helped with my anxiety and has had no ill effects on my sleep. I’m starting to get better sleep but now I need to fix this damn ear infection and then things might be right as rain.

Every post kind of needs a photo so here is me after leg day eating dark chocolate Hershey’s (not pictured) on the couch (not pictured). I didn’t say I was good at this.

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