Thoughts between sets at the gym. Hoo boy, first leg workout in a few weeks. If I can walk tomorrow I will count it a miracle. 1. I am still so very tired. I hate that exhaustion is such a non-specific symptom because it is so hard to pinpoint the cause and a solution. More…More
Author Archives: janamlight
Reader. Writer. Runner. Fundraiser. SUP-er. Obsessed with philosophy and the ocean.
Does empathy translate?
Since I started my post on what I do to forgive myself, empathy has been big on my mind. Part of this has been self-centered — I have always been seen as (and consider myself to be) deeply empathic. I believe the ability to empathize is twofold, being both a natural capacity and an action.…More
How I am forgiving myself
As I was thinking through a particularly painful, fraught interpersonal issue the other day (the one that sparked my post on emotions and needs), I found myself getting fairly amped up and frustrated at myself for having let the situation go on as long as I did. Why didn’t I see it all earlier?! Why…More
What I read to fall asleep
Earlier this year I was in a real reading rut. I was tired of Plato, but I really needed to read Plato to keep up with my coursework. Reading anything superfluous made me feel guilty for not reading Plato so I ended up not reading anything at all. The thing that saved my reading life…More
Life update: just call me the exhausted bookish swimming Philosophy Master
I think I passed out and woke up four weeks later. It’s been a full couple of weeks, even though not terribly busy; my brain and body have just been full to capacity with the few things in life I’ve been dealing with. Sometimes a few things feel like a hundred. And since Chris and…More
We can do big things
I am on my way to being fully vaccinated! I got my first shot a couple weeks ago and have my appointment for shot #2 coming up. While my first impression was a deep sense of relief at being able to protect myself and protect my community from the spread of COVID, I came away…More
Emotions as needs
Nearing 40, I am learning things I wish I had learned a long time ago. I’ve long been able to identify my emotions; I may not have had full emotional intelligence per se, but I had a grasp on what I was feeling and why. I have always found emotions to be philosophically rich, a…More
Listen to me
Lately I feel like so many men in my life refuse to hear me. I am so tired of having things I say immediately – IMMEDIATELY – contradicted, without the other party even taking the time to consider and think through and ask questions about what I said. The arrogance and dismissiveness are astounding and…More
When we have to lie to ourselves
Chris and I were talking this past weekend about how so strange and incredibly disorienting it is to think — to really sit and think — about the fact that everything is determined. As in, when you look at the macro world with its natural laws and causal connections forming each moment in its completion,…More
In-between thoughts: dreams are happening
Thoughts between sets at the gym. ~ I have been having the weirdest, most vivid dreams lately. They haven’t been particularly stressful (no recurrence of the dream where I’m a waitress and can’t seem to get to a table and they’re getting super pissed, thankfully), they’ve just been… Chaotic? Vividly chaotic. I wonder why my…More
