My heart is yearning for seasonal change

I miss the feeling of change. I miss slow-motion kaleidoscope landscapes. I miss visible transformation that reassures me the way of things is to transform, to change. I miss returnings. Returning to winter coats, returning to sundresses. Returning to coziness, returning to lazy, sun-drenched beaches, returning to cool, brisk jogs. The familiar that becomes new…More

How I am forgiving myself

As I was thinking through a particularly painful, fraught interpersonal issue the other day (the one that sparked my post on emotions and needs), I found myself getting fairly amped up and frustrated at myself for having let the situation go on as long as I did. Why didn’t I see it all earlier?! Why…More

Face masks are making me feel things

Just to be clear: I think wearing face masks in public and when around strangers is good, responsible, and important (even while maintaining six feet of distance). There is nothing I want more right now than for this virus to die out and for life to return to a semblance of normal. Not the normal…More

On living a full life

What does a “full life” mean? What are its parts? How does one do it? I recently bemoaned how often I default to reading when I have free time, and how I rely too much on books to fill my moments. What I had in mind were all the OTHER things I love doing —…More

At the Moment … little happies

A few thoughts on happies in my life lately…. 1. A couple months ago, I was super bummed because I had torn our apartment apart and couldn’t find my grad school copy of Hume’s A Treatise of Human Nature. It had all my notes, my lovingly dog-eared pages… I was more bummed than I thought…More

You don’t have to accept all love offered to you

For me, one of the hardest things in life is learning how to navigate and set boundaries in relationships. Sometimes I wonder how two people can EVER be on the same page about what they want out of a relationship, or to really agree about what a relationship should be. I can’t believe I found…More

At the Moment 6.12.19 – Summer Lovin’

It feels so good to be easing into summer. It’s one of our last full summers in Hawaii, so I want to make the most of it. Lots of hiking, SUPing, beaching, and rosé. I think it’s all doable. And I’m currently weighted-lunging to … make my legs worthless for doing any of the above.…More

At the Moment … 10.18.18

1. Last night I made homemade mayo (so easy!) and today I did 8 pullups in a row. I FEEL INVINCABLE. 2. I have been putting off getting a haircut for too many months now and my hair is officially stringy and raggedy. Also, somewhat related, my mid-30s have not been kind to my hair…More

At the moment 6.8.18

Paradise. GRADUATE SCHOOL ALMOST KILLED ME BUT I SURVIVED. Whoosh, that was a stressful couple of weeks. Two of my first real graduate philosophy papers coming due (my Purdue papers didn’t count because they hardcore sucked) and a big trip to California and Colorado for work collided into a stressful last couple of weeks. But…More

At the moment… 3/8/2018

1. I have a very love/hate relationship with Hawaii, and lately it’s been mostly of the “hate” variety. Yesterday something softened in me, though, and I felt a huge swell of affection and reverence for this place. Who knows what is noodling around in the subconscious part of my brain, but it’s a relief not…More