What is this stinky place with all the weird machines and sticks and rubber plates and people in tight pants? What is a "deadlift" and why is everything so stupid and so heavy? It has been almost one month since my last legs day and two weeks since my last upper body session. I can … Continue reading In-Between Thoughts 12.17.18 – grace in relationships
Lately I've been working to learn how to sit with the big sorrows of my life. Some of my sorrows are not fixable. They are permanent parts of my life (though with differing intensities), they stay with me, and in some instances even partially define my life and my sense of self. I'm not always … Continue reading Sitting with sorrows
I was thinking today how uninterested I am in reading a lot of theology at the moment and what a huge shift this is in my intellectual appetite. I used to LOVE theology and used to read it almost exclusively. When I was in college, I wanted to be a modern, female C.S. Lewis (until … Continue reading Intellectual appetites
One of the best and worst parts of being a highly-sensitive person is how I "absorb" the emotions or vibe of the room and company I'm in. If someone I'm taking to is sad, I feel that sadness in a vivid, though not-quite-first-person way. If someone is anxious, my blood pressure tends to rise a … Continue reading HSP lightbulb moment
Just a little thought for the day. I love classical music. Medieval, Baroque, Classical (with a capital C), Romantic, and some Modern/Contemporary. I gravitate most towards the Romantic and Classical. They feed my soul. They help ease my anxiety and make me feel much more centered and present. Since I've been back at graduate school, … Continue reading Thoughts on study music
I have three books that I want to finish from last semester. I read parts of them for class or for papers, but didn't have time to read them in full. They are excellent books and deserve to be finished. I mean, look at them: Self/No Self? A collection of essays on the self/no self … Continue reading Learning is awesome, dammit
Paradise. GRADUATE SCHOOL ALMOST KILLED ME BUT I SURVIVED. Whoosh, that was a stressful couple of weeks. Two of my first real graduate philosophy papers coming due (my Purdue papers didn't count because they hardcore sucked) and a big trip to California and Colorado for work collided into a stressful last couple of weeks. But … Continue reading At the moment 6.8.18
1. I have a very love/hate relationship with Hawaii, and lately it's been mostly of the "hate" variety. Yesterday something softened in me, though, and I felt a huge swell of affection and reverence for this place. Who knows what is noodling around in the subconscious part of my brain, but it's a relief not … Continue reading At the moment… 3/8/2018
I am super emotional. I feel all the things all the time, whether or not those feelings are mine alone or are feelings I have absorbed from someone near me. (I have a love/hate relationship with that part.) One of the big projects or efforts in my life is to find healthy ways to deal … Continue reading Emotions and blame
Flowers on my run up and down Diamond Head this morning. This was on the long uphill part that made me want either to die or to reverse all my life choices. How do I succeed at something I'm not innately good at? When/how does effort trump intrinsic ability? When does the imbalance of a friendship … Continue reading At the moment… (1/21)
