We can do big things

I am on my way to being fully vaccinated! I got my first shot a couple weeks ago and have my appointment for shot #2 coming up. While my first impression was a deep sense of relief at being able to protect myself and protect my community from the spread of COVID, I came away…More

Emotions as needs

Nearing 40, I am learning things I wish I had learned a long time ago. I’ve long been able to identify my emotions; I may not have had full emotional intelligence per se, but I had a grasp on what I was feeling and why. I have always found emotions to be philosophically rich, a…More

Listen to me

Lately I feel like so many men in my life refuse to hear me. I am so tired of having things I say immediately – IMMEDIATELY – contradicted, without the other party even taking the time to consider and think through and ask questions about what I said. The arrogance and dismissiveness are astounding and…More

When we have to lie to ourselves

Chris and I were talking this past weekend about how so strange and incredibly disorienting it is to think — to really sit and think — about the fact that everything is determined. As in, when you look at the macro world with its natural laws and causal connections forming each moment in its completion,…More

What does “good” look like to you?

In the Hidden Brain episode “Did That Really Happen?“, Shankar Vidantan and his guest, psychologist Dr. Ayanna Thomas, talk about how unreliable our memories are, specifically regarding visual memory. We are remarkably susceptible to the power of suggestion. If someone tells us we wore a blue shirt on Christmas when we were 12, we are…More

Two confessions and fully rehabilitating the word “emotional”

Ok, ready for a confession? An embarrassing confession? I watch The Challenge dang near religiously. Like, every week. I even have started listening to a stupid podcast about it. Every. Stinkin’. Week. Chris got me started watching this show and I… I can’t quit it. OH THE LEVELS OF DEPRAVITY TO WHICH WE SINK IN…More

Is science inevitable? Are the arts miraculous?

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. Carl Sagan I recently finished reading A Canticle for Leibowitz, which is one of the best post- (and pre!) apocalyptical novels I’ve read in a long time. I feel and think many things about it, but one of the things that it made me continue to think…More

Religion and unity

How do we get people to come to the church and make them feel safe and still remind them that they suck and are headed to hell? Omar Abreu, on their experience as a queer attendee of Hillsong Church, quoted from VanityFair.com It’s been a long time since I have been out of my childhood…More

The oppressions we permit

I recently read a Vanity Fair article on the many, many issues in Hillsong Church. It’s horrifying. I have many thoughts about churches and church communities and the abuse or manipulation that is often excused as “tough, biblical love”, but today I am mostly pissed at one thing: So many of these harms against women,…More

The limits of selflessness

I’ve been going through some stuff lately (not much I can share on this public, though little-read, blog). One thing my therapist reminded me is that I am not in charge of other peoples’ happiness. That’s their job. My happiness is the only happiness I’m responsible for, and I need to let go of any…More